Come on. Come on out.
You want something? Wanna eat?
There's some food out here.
Here it is. It's in the kitchen.
Good night, Sylvia.
Mirabelle Buttersfield moved from Vermont,
hoping to begin her life.
And now she is stranded in the vast openness of LA.
She keeps working to make connections,
but the pile of near misses is starting to overwhelm her.
What Mirabelle needs is an omniscient voice to illuminate and spotlight her.
And to inform everyone that this one has value,
this one, standing behind the counter in the glove department.
And then to find her counterpart and bring him to her.
So...
You have a student loan of $39,452.
And you're currently paying it off at the rate of $45 a month.
Yes.
Do you think that you could increase that amount to...
Let me just see.
$160 a month?
Well, I...
I would love to, but...
That's just not gonna happen.
- Oh, really. - Yeah.
Hey.
I mean, hello. Hi.
- Do you need change? - No, I'm fine.
OK.
Where do you work?
- Saks. - Saks.
Cool.
Saks...
Saks Fifth Avenue?
- Where do you work? - In my studio. I'm an artist.
- Yeah? Me too. - Really? What kind?
I draw. What do you do?
I'm involved in stenciling. You know Holydog Amplifiers?
I do their logo.
Here, I'll show you.
These are, like, some fonts I did. You know.
Like, this one by my thumb's an older one, obviously. And...
This is my favorite one. I've called this font "Los Angeles" because...
"Los Angeles." It's my favorite one.
I'm an OK guy, by the way.
You didn't have to tell me that.
I didn't? How come?
- Well, I could tell. - Well, how could you tell?
'Cause I'm a really poor judge of character.
I'm a poor judge of character as well.
The worst.
Excuse me, young lady. Two things.
One: I was wondering if I could now borrow change from you
because my stuff's still damp.
And two:
I was wondering if I could please have your phone number
so that I could call you.
I'm Jeremy.
I will call you.
Sorry. I'll get it next time. Hey.
Sorry.
- Hi. - Hi.
- You look nice. - Yeah? Yeah, thanks.
All right.
OK.
Get ready to have the time of your life.
OK.
I'm ready.
All right, young lady.
Fantastic, isn't it?
Yeah.
- Are we going in? - Go in? Oh, no.
I just thought we'd look at it.
So, we would just sit here, then?
Yeah. Or walk around.
This place is called City Walk.
It got eight out of ten in my date book.
It's not called "City-Go-and-See-a-Movie." Tickets are, like, ten bucks too, so...
I like it here. Peaceful.
I come here to think about fonts.
I've actually been working on a font for you.
It's my most favorite one.
The Ls go like that.
- We could split it. - OK. Let's split it.
Could I borrow two bucks?
Congratulations. You've officially gone on a date with Jeremy.
Don't forget to hold the handle when you lock the door.
- 52 steps. OK. - OK.
- Well, thanks for driving me. - Can I see your place?
I think I should go to bed. I'm pretty tired.
Cool.
So...
- Good night. - Oh, OK. OK, OK.
Well, here, let me give you my number.
You got a pen?
Yeah. I do.
You got paper?
Yeah, I do.
How high is that? You ever jump off that? I would jump it.
- Mirabelle? - Yeah?
Can I kiss you or what?
The point being?
Thank you.
Oh, hey, you look good, too.
- See you later. - Hey, Jeremy?
Yeah?
Are you the kind of person it takes time to get to know,
and then, once you get to know them, they're fabulous?
- Yes. Yes. Absolutely. - OK.
What? Yes.
- OK. - OK.
No? OK.
I love you. No kiss. Good night.
Good night.
Night!
See, Susan, your husband doesn't understand
that it's afterglow that's important to a woman.
Much more important than sex itself.
A woman needs to be held. Even if, and science has shown this,
it's by someone she doesn't care about.
Protective hormones are released, and the amount of hormones released
depend on the degree to which she is held.
The first and best is the complete surround.
He wraps you in both arms, whispers how beautiful you are.
Second best is the arm around.
He's next to you, but with one arm around you.
Third is, he's just next to you on his elbow,
but he rests his hand on your stomach and looks at you.
Fourth is you snuggling up to him with your head on his chest,
while he looks away into space.
But when the first best happens, you feel completely, wonderfully like a woman.
Once a year, we have to feed our crocs a whole carcass.
God, OK.
From the skin, fur...
Jeremy?
...around a crocodile because I'd be within strike range...
- Jeremy? ...got a mouthful of pig.
He's bringing it in.
Jeremy?
We've never seen him do it. Let's hope he does it.
He'll pick it up out of the water, sink his teeth into it, then...
Jeremy!
Wow.
Jeremy!
Watch this. Here we go. See his tail sticking up?
He's ripped it.
And here he goes again.
Yeah!
Hello, hello, hello, hi, hello...
- Hello? - Hello. Hey.
Is this... Is this Jeremy?
Yeah.
- Do you know who this is? - Yeah. It's Mirabelle.
Did you just dial me?
Yeah.
Did you know that...
What?
- That you what? - That...
- What? - Nothing.
Oh, God.
OK, well...
Mirabelle, I was wondering if you want me to come over.
- Yeah. - Yeah?
Yeah. I'm just hanging out, really.
- Oh, great. - Yeah.
- OK, I'm gonna come over then. - OK.
- Like, when? - Well...
I'm in the middle of a lot of things right now, so maybe, like, in ten minutes?
Hi.
- I brought fries. - I can tell.
How could you tell?
- I can see through the bag. - Oh, yeah. They're really good.
- Come on in. - Yeah? Great.
Great place, man.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
- That's OK. Hey, is that the bedroom? - What?
- Yeah. - Yeah?
- We'll need a condom. - I got it, I got it, I got it.
- Oh, shit. - What?
- It's a mint. - What?
I grabbed the wrong package.
It's a mint, not a condom.
- Do you have one? - No.
This is stupid.
Yeah!
Do you have a baggie?
- What? - If you had a Jiffy baggie,
well, I could, like, use that, you know?
Oh, God.
- You're going to have to go and get one. - OK. Cool.
- Where do you keep them? - What?
The Jiffy baggies. Where do you keep them?
No, a condom.
Kind of breaks the romantic mood.
Do you want to just hug?
Yeah.
Say, excuse me, bro?
- That was quick. - Yeah.
- Where'd you get it? - Well, I was out there,
and I bumped into your neighbor, Kenny. I just asked him if he had any...
- Oh, God. ...and he does, so great.
Do you still want to do it?
Do you want a massage?
What happened?
- Someone's hitting my balls. - Someone?
Bad Sylvia!
I'm sorry. Are you OK?
Yeah, it's like someone throwing marshmallows at me.
- Are you OK to? - Yeah. Does this happen often?
Yeah. Every night.
Maybe I should just go home.
No.
No, stay.
Amplifiers are so underappreciated.
What?
They could be so cool-looking, and nobody cares about design. It pisses me off.
Mac designs a cool computer - everybody goes out and they buy it.
And a band, a rock-and-roll band,
lives or dies by their amplifiers,
and they're sold like refrigerators.
That's ridiculous, come on. The amps should have mystique.
I mean, yeah. Amps should be sold like cool things.
You know, like cars, like swords. Not like appliances.
And that is why my boss's business is going under.
Because he views it all as merch. That's merchandise.
You should do something about it.
He's never coming to one of my parties again. Never.
They both looked so fat.
- The worst. - The second floor is great.
You want something? Seen anything you want?
Nothing here. But that Stella McCartney dress is good.
Perfect.
- Excuse me? - Yes, I'm sorry.
- Is he famous? - He's on that show Extraterrestrials.
- I haven't seen that. - Neither have I.
How'd you know who he was, then?
Osmosis.
- Would you like to see something? - Yeah.
Those grey ones and those black ones.
OK.
How does it work? Is it one size fits all, or?
They come in different sizes but mostly they'll fit anybody.
Unless, you know,
she's big.
- I don't know. What do you think? - Well, it depends on the dress.
What color is the dress?
I'll just get the grey ones.
Safe.
Safe?
Why, do you think the black?
- I like the black. - OK, I'll take the black.
OK.
It's $145.
- Just put it in there. - OK.
- Thank you. - Thank you.
Jeremy, I need your timecard in the office.
OK. Chet.
What?
- Hey. You know what I've been thinking? - I have no idea.
Well, how could you? I'm the one who's thinking it, obviously. Listen, Chet,
who hangs out with rock musicians on the road?
- Who? - Other rock musicians.
And?
If you had someone on the road with the band,
you know, a band that uses our stuff, with someone who looks real sharp,
someone the musicians could relate to,
bet you could sell a lot more stuff that way.
- Do you have someone in mind? - Yeah.
Me.
Think about it.
Here, smell.
Did you get my package? It seems like I'm sneaking up but I'm not.
- I was distracted by global commerce. - Yeah.
So, did you get my package?
Yes. Thank you.
And?
- Who are you? - Good point. I'm Ray Porter. How are you?
Hi.
Look, I know you can't be seen chatting up customers,
so why don't you just meet me Friday for dinner at La Ronde,
that little place in Beverly Hills, at eight o'clock.
You don't even have to give me your phone number, just show up,
and if you don't, I'll just eat alone.
What was the name of the restaurant?
- La Ronde. - What time?
Eight.
- You're on time. - Why not?
- Many people aren't. - Thank you.
- Would you like something to drink? - Red wine.
What shade?
- Maroon. - All right.
We'll have some of that fancy maroon wine that you have.
So.
Who are you?
I'm a logician.
Meaning you work with numbers?
- I work with symbols. - So you're a symbolic logician.
Exactly.
You're very well dressed for a symbolic logician.
So how did you get my address?
Well, I lied to Saks, then made one phone call to Information.
You have an unusual name - Buttersfield.
Mirabelle Buttersfield.
While Ray explains his presumption in getting her address and sending gloves,
Mirabelle sizes him up and no alarm bells sound.
She asks several questions and gets a kind of checklist for a man over 50:
Divorced, two houses,
one in LA and one in the computer-oriented Seattle,
which is the source of his wealth.
So.
Going to give me your phone number?
Yes.
But the one question she does not ask him,
which is foremost in her mind, is: "Why me?"
- Hey. - Hi.
Mind if I join you?
We see each other, but we don't know each other.
- I'm Lisa. - Mirabelle.
You ever have men ask you out at the store?
Daily.
- And do you ever go out with them? - Depends.
Somebody ask you out?
You want some advice?
You never call him.
If he calls you, talk to him, then act like you have another call,
keep him on hold for a long time, like longer than you think is possible.
And break dates. Always break dates.
Right around the holidays, because then he's just stuck.
And fellatio. The sooner the better.
And a lot. Act like you love it.
After he's addicted, cut him off.
That's when you've got him.
Yeah, I couldn't do all that.
- How come? - I'm from Vermont.
- Hi. - Hi.
- May I come in? - Yeah, please.
I think I can see your apartment from my house.
- Really? - I live near the observatory,
and I can see the observatory from your steps.
- Well, do you want to go, or stay? - Well...
- Do you want to sit down? - Yeah. Great. Thanks.
- You want something to drink? - Pardon me?
- A drink? - Yeah. What do you have?
- White wine? - That's great.
- It's a nice neighborhood. - Yeah, I really like it.
- Thank you. - Sure.
- Should we go? - Yeah, let's go.
Whoa, boy. Let's... Yeah.
It's a futon, right? Yeah. Futon.
You'll like the Cha Cha Cha. It's fun.
So...
- You know what you're gonna have? - Yeah, I always get the jerk chicken.
Is that an order or a comment?
OK, we need some date questions.
So let's see... Where's your family live?
Vermont.
Good relationship with your father, I hope?
Well...
My dad doesn't speak very much.
After Vietnam.
OK. Be honest, maybe.
If this were a TV dating show,
would I be kicked off already and you'd be on to the next guy?
- You'd still be on the show. - Good.
- I like your watch. - Thank you.
It's a pretty unassuming Timex.
Yeah, but I'm out of date questions and so I'm on to date comments.
Now I'm your watch.
Well, it was very nice.
- Was I boring? - No, was I?
A little bit.
Well, OK.
- I don't think that you should come in. - I'm not asking to.
- Meaning? - Meaning...
I'll see you again?
OK.
I'll be out of town about a week.
But would you like to have dinner on Friday?
We could eat at my place.
OK.
Simmons is struggling in this second half. He's only two for seven,
and both of them have members down.
He's got to get better help from his receiver...
...Simmons is looking long, he scrambles left. There's a big block...
...and see what he can find, Simmons with a long pass...
It's Simmons with the touchdown!
- Man, you saved our ass tonight. - No sweat.
- What was that amp? - Holydog. It's the amp's amp.
You know, it's the one I've been telling you about for three weeks.
Luther, see you on the bus, man.
- You want some dope? - I'm afraid I'm gonna have to just say no.
- Good answer. - I'm into athletics.
- Whatever. You want to ride with us? - What?
- We got an extra bunk. Come on. - Ride with you?
Yeah. Great. All right.
Let me get my gear, I got to expedite a couple things...
- Come on. - All right.
Hello?
Hey, it's Jeremy. Jere-me. What are you doing?
- You mean now? - Yeah. I want you to come over.
- It's too late. - It's not too late.
It is for me. I have to get up.
Come over.
- I can't. - Come on.
No.
Come on, I'm leaving town for a couple months.
- I can't. - Why not?
Because I'm seeing someone.
You have a nice house.
- Do you think it's too done? - No. No, it's nice.
I didn't do it. It was like this when I bought it.
Do you want to sit down?
- Or do you want to go outside? - OK.
Do you want some wine?
Later.
OK, yeah.
OK, there's the termite sign and then down from that...
Yes. I can see your building but not your apartment.
- Take a look. See the blue sign? - Yeah.
Then right below that, Silver Lake Boulevard. Now go over.
- Oh, yeah. - See?
- You all right? - Yes.
Did it pinch you?
A dealer on La Brea takes my drawings.
And they sell one occasionally.
- How often do you do one? - About every six months.
Why so few?
I don't know, really.
You sure you don't want some wine?
I'm sure. Thank you.
You want to see the rest of the house?
Let's go.
That's the three... Got all three type recycle bins.
And the whole laundry room.
All the closets.
This just... See, you just put things in there.
Garage.
The bedroom.
Nice view.
Let me turn off the phones.
Hi, it's Ray Porter. Leave a message.
- All right. Here's where you sleep. - OK, cool.
Here's your headphones. Go to sleep with the music.
- Come on, we're gonna make Mojitos. - Right.
- What's a Mojito? - A fancy drink.
All right.
I want to fly!
Yeah!
Relax.
Relax your toes and breathe.
Relax your ankles and breathe.
Feel your hands. Flex them.
Fix your eyes on an object in front of you.
Quiet your mind.
Feel the sensation of being alive.
Hey.
Is it OK if I make a speech?
OK.
I wasn't really looking for anything permanent right now.
But I really like seeing you.
I'm just traveling so much right now
that I thought maybe we should just keep our options open.
- Do you understand? - I do.
OK, Miss Mirabelle of the fourth floor, how did it go with the glove man?
Oh, yeah! Tell us all about it.
Spill it. Do you like him? Does he like you?
Well, he said he was surprised that he was interested in me.
I told her there was no possibility that this was a long-term relationship.
She's just really too young for me.
- But you want to sleep with her? - Well, yeah.
He said he wants to give it a try.
And I said that even though this is not long-term, I still want to see her.
- And she understood? - Yeah.
He said he wants to cut down on traveling.
I essentially said that I'd like to sleep with her when I'm in town.
He said he might, you know, stop traveling completely. Then we'd decide what to do.
Even though it's a sexual relationship, we still should be able to see other people.
So he was really taken with you?
Yeah, it seemed like it.
So you were really clear with her that this relationship has no future?
Absolutely.
Well, you know how to find out if he really loves you?
How?
You call him "sweetheart" and watch what he does.